Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
