Cold hands, warm shart.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
