She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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