the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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