You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
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I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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