She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
