I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
