i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
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I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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