My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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