Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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