Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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