it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
