Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
