oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just found a bag of teeth...
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
