Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Randomize
