but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
this hospital has no fireball
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
