one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
