Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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