It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
