Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
