Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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