Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Couch. On fire.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
