Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
