what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
