Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
