C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Randomize
