I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
