explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
