"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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