Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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