I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
