Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
