do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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