ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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