I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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