just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
try to milk me bitch
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