He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
