my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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