Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
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