Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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