Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
