I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
