So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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