she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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