porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
