I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
