Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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