1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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