If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
