Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
