What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
