It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
