C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
