Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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