this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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