I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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