at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
