escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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