You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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