her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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