On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
