We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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