I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50% drunk capacity currently
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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